Multiple Sclerosis

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Saturday night my eyes would not focus. I assumed it was exhaustion and went to sleep. Early Sunday morning, getting up to volunteer at Elevation for the 3 to 5, I fell out of bed. I could not walk. It was frightening, but I told myself I would sleep it off. I figured I must have slept wrong and my legs had fallen asleep.

By 11, I knew it was serious. Lying down was easy, but when Jesse tried to help me into the car, I panicked. I flailed and scrambled, desperate for the comfort of the ground. I truly could not walk or sit upright. I was terrified and I wept. Seven hours in the ER later, I was diagnosed with severe vertigo and told there was a lesion on my brain. I hoped for better news on Monday.

I am still waiting for a call from the neurologist. I cannot focus with both eyes open. I walk like I am drunk. If I sit or stand for more than a minute, I become nauseous. On Monday, Angel drove me to Church at Charlotte to get the guys started, then brought me home. Vertigo is no joke, and it has nothing to do with heights. If I am going to be sick, at least it has a cool name.

On Tuesday, Aria and I celebrated a “Daddy is Alive” meal at Zada Jane’s. Aria invited several people to celebrate with us, and all of them sat down for at least a little while. Aria is very convincingly cute. I am still walking like a pirate with one eye shut. I am oddly excited about having a pirate ailment. We should go to the Schiele Museum and get a real pirate patch.

On Wednesday, I played with my kids and ignored everything else. I wanted a day off. That evening my hearing went strange. I skipped the Valium so I would be alert if Asher woke during the night.

Thursday morning, the left side of my face drooped. It is called Bell’s Palsy, which is not nearly as cool of a name. I called for advice and ended up back in the ER. Now I have an unusual cluster of symptoms that has made me something of a curiosity at CMC Main. So far they are saying multiple sclerosis. I had my first lumbar puncture, which hurt. More blood. MRI. Scans. A real party.

Please pray for clarity and discovery. The unknown is a much scarier dragon than anything concrete. Honestly, my body does not matter all that much in the scope of my life, so I am trying to keep perspective. I believe events themselves are neither good nor bad. They simply are. If I keep my heart oriented correctly, I trust that good will come from this. That is one of the advantages of believing there is a bigger plan.

I have been admitted. I am waiting on another MRI and a heart echo.

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